“Wow! You have grown that baby!”
Those words still ring happiness every time I reflect on my 4th trimester journey. My baby and I had been up all night drowning in another growth spurt and cluster feeding. My husband had returned from work. Our newborn laid peacefully asleep in his bassinet, filling out his clothes and the bassinet. “Wow! You have grown that baby!” my husband exclaimed! I cried. I felt seen.
The arrival of a new baby is an exciting time, but it can also be overwhelming and emotional, especially for the mom who is adjusting to new physical and mental changes. Postpartum mental health is a crucial aspect of a new mom’s well-being, and as a partner, your support can make all the difference. While every postpartum experience is unique, there are many ways you can help create a safe and supportive environment for your partner during this challenging time.
Here are some ways partners can support postpartum mental health:
1. Listen Without Judgment
One of the most important things you can do as a partner is listen. When your partner shares her feelings, whether she’s feeling overwhelmed, sad, or anxious, it’s crucial to listen without trying to “fix” the situation immediately. Offer a compassionate ear and validate her emotions. Let her know that it’s okay to feel how she’s feeling and that you’re there for her, no matter what.
2. Encourage Self-Care
In the midst of caring for a newborn, it’s easy for new moms to put their own needs last. As a partner, help encourage self-care by offering opportunities for her to take breaks. Whether it’s taking over baby duty for a couple of hours so she can nap, encouraging her to go for a walk, or suggesting a hot bath or time to read a book, help her carve out moments for herself. Remind her that taking care of her mental health benefits both her and the baby.
3. Recognize the Signs of Postpartum Depression
Postpartum depression (PPD) is common, affecting many new mothers, yet it often goes unrecognized. Too much sleep and the inability to actually sleep is the first sign of postpartum mental health discordance. Keep an eye out for signs such as persistent sadness, extreme irritability, feelings of hopelessness, or a lack of interest in things she once enjoyed. If you notice any of these signs, gently encourage her to speak with a healthcare professional. Offer to help with appointments or seek help together. PPD is treatable, and your support can be the first step in getting the help she needs.
4. Be Involved in Baby Care
One of the most meaningful ways you can support your partner is by actively participating in baby care. Change diapers, take shifts during nighttime feedings, and help with other tasks like burping, bathing, or soothing the baby. This helps lighten her load and reinforces the idea that parenting is a shared responsibility. It also gives her time to rest, recharge, and take care of herself.
5. Help with Household Responsibilities
The first few weeks (or even months) after childbirth can be chaotic. Household chores can easily pile up, which can add unnecessary stress to both partners. Help with cleaning, cooking, laundry, and other daily tasks. Even small gestures like running errands or doing the dishes can provide a huge relief and show your partner that you are there to share the workload.
6. Create a Supportive Environment for Open Communication
The postpartum period can be full of emotional ups and downs, so it’s important to create a space where your partner feels comfortable expressing her feelings and needs. Encourage open communication, but also give her the space to open up when she’s ready. Sometimes, just knowing that she has a partner who is there to support her, without judgment or pressure, can make a world of difference.
7. Take Care of Yourself Too
Supporting your partner through postpartum mental health challenges is a big responsibility, and it can be emotionally draining. It’s important to make sure you’re also taking care of your own physical and mental well-being. Take time to recharge, whether that means getting a workout in, spending time with friends, or simply relaxing. When you take care of yourself, you’ll be in a better position to support your partner.
8. Be Patient and Flexible
The postpartum journey can be unpredictable. Your partner might have good days and tough days, and things can change rapidly. Be patient and flexible as both of you adjust to the new routines and challenges. Reassure her that it’s okay to have tough moments and that it’s okay if things don’t always go as planned. Your patience and understanding can ease the pressure she might feel to be “perfect.”
Final Thoughts
Supporting your partner’s postpartum mental health requires love, patience, and understanding. You don’t have to have all the answers or know exactly what she needs — but by being present, involved, and encouraging her to prioritize her mental health, you can help her navigate the challenges of new motherhood with confidence. Together, you can create a supportive, balanced environment where both of you can thrive during this life-changing transition.
Remember, seeking professional help is always an option if you or your partner feel overwhelmed. The right support can make all the difference in the postpartum journey.
What’s one way you’ve supported your partner’s mental health after childbirth? Share your thoughts in the comments below!