Q: Can you describe your emotions when you first thought about returning to work after your baby was born?
A: To be honest, I hated thinking about going back to work. The very thought made me feel overwhelmed with dread. I didn’t want to leave my baby. I started to feel resentful that we weren’t financially well-off enough for me to stay home. I avoided discussing my return with my partner, pushing the conversation out as much as possible, but it was still constantly on my mind. I was anxious, just knowing that one day, I’d have to leave my baby behind.
There was this deep, simmering anger about how our culture expects women to return to work so quickly after childbirth. It felt so unfair, and I was enraged that this was just the way it was. I felt disrespected and forced into a situation I didn’t want to be in. It felt like torture. I wanted to be there for my baby all the time, to make sure she always felt my love, but that wasn’t something I could control when I had to leave her to go to work.
Even now, two months into working, I feel like I’m missing out on her growing up. I am missing it—and I hate that. It feels like I am losing a part of her, and I just want to be there, 100%. And to make matters worse, my milk supply has decreased significantly, which is so frustrating.
I try to tell myself that we are lucky—my partner is with the baby all day, and Grandpa fills in a bit in the afternoon before I get home. But still, I just want to be her mom. The reality is, we’re not rich, so I have to work, too. But it’s not what I want. I just want to be there with her, without the guilt of having to work.
Q: What is something you wish more people knew about the journey to motherhood?
A: My motherhood journey started 14 years ago when I was just 20 years old. I was young, poor, and alone. It was survival mode from day one. I didn’t have the luxury of focusing on anything but getting by. The thing is, there’s this enormous pressure to buy all the expensive stuff—like $1,000 strollers, fancy self-rocking beds, and the latest baby gear. But you don’t need all that.
What babies need most is you. They need your love, your care, and your presence. That’s all. They don’t care about fancy gear or brand-name products. So many people waste money on things that don’t really matter, when the most important thing is being there for your baby.
Trust me, you’ll have plenty of time to focus on money later. When they’re older, that’s when you’ll want to have your finances sorted. When they want to play an expensive sport or need a car, that’s the time to prioritize those big purchases. But right now, with a newborn, it’s all about connection. It’s all about love and security. The more you focus on yourself and your mental health, and less on what the world says you need to buy, the better.
Another huge piece of advice: Make sure your relationship with your partner is strong. They are going to see a different side of you after the baby arrives. You’ll go through a huge transformation, and you’ll need unconditional love and support. So, make sure that person in your life has your back, no matter what.
Motherhood can be so overwhelming, and it’s easy to feel like you’re doing everything wrong. But if you just focus on the basics—your mental health, your partner, and the bond you share with your baby—it all becomes a little easier to manage.
I hated it. I still hate it. Self-care. What does that really mean? Self-care in motherhood is like everyone looking good in a family picture–unattainable. Thank god for photoshop, AI and filters which make these goals at least reachable.
Becoming a mom is one of life’s most beautiful transitions — but it’s also one of the most challenging. While the joy and love you feel for your newborn are immeasurable, the demands of caring for a tiny human can leave you physically and mentally drained. It’s easy to forget about your own needs when you’re constantly putting your baby’s first. But here’s the truth: caring for your mental health is not only vital for you, but for your baby’s well-being too. When you’re feeling your best, you’re able to show up as the best version of yourself for YOU and your family.
Balancing mental health and motherhood doesn’t have to be an impossible task. Here are some practical self-care tips to help new moms manage their well-being while adjusting to this life-changing role.
1. Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help
This is actually the most challenging for new moms. We have been told over, over again to do it all in the same breath, it takes a village. This dichotomy leaves us helpless. Asking for help doesn’t make you weak or less capable, it makes you human, and more importantly, a mother. Ask yourself, if your friend, child, partner was struggling, wouldn’t you help? So what is the difference in helping your best friend,YOU.
Here is a practical way to ask for help. In the fridge or an area where it’s visible, make a list of daily chores. For example, taking the trash out every week, walking the dog, picking up groceries or mail, mom needs a nap, mom needs to shower, mom needs to brush her teeth, mom needs food— it’s okay to lean on others.
Remember, it takes a village to raise a child, and you deserve support. By accepting help, you’re giving yourself the space to recharge, and ultimately, you’ll be better.
2. Make Time for Small Acts
When you’re a new mom, it can feel like there’s no time left for yourself. But even small moments for yourself can have a big impact on your mental health. It doesn’t have to be a luxurious spa day or an hour-long workout. Even something as simple as enjoying a cup of coffee in silence, taking a walk around the block, or sitting down to read a chapter of a book can give you the mental reset you need.
These small acts allow you to recharge, even if it’s just for a few minutes, and help you stay balanced during the busiest days.
3. Prioritize Sleep (When Possible)
Sleep deprivation is one of the biggest challenges new moms face. It’s incredibly hard to function at your best when you’re running on little to no sleep. Although it’s easier said than done, try to find opportunities to sleep when your baby sleeps. If you are nursing, please understand the circadian rhythm of prolactin in helping you sleep. Here is the link. Coordinate shifts with your partner or a family member so you can get some uninterrupted rest.
If sleep is hard to come by, try relaxation techniques like deep breathing or a warm bath to help you wind down. And remember, it’s okay to let things go a little if that means getting the rest you need. Too much sleep and the inability to actually sleep is the first sign of postpartum mental health discordance. Please reach out to your healthcare provider or us.
4. Connect with Other Moms
Isolation is a common experience for new moms, especially if you’re at home a lot with your baby. Staying connected to other moms — whether in person or virtually — can provide a much-needed emotional boost. Sharing experiences, tips, and stories with others who are in the same boat can make you feel less alone.
Join a local moms’ group, connect with other new parents online, or reach out to old friends who have children. Just talking to someone who understands what you’re going through can be incredibly comforting.
5. Practice Mindfulness and Stress-Relief Techniques
Motherhood comes with an emotional rollercoaster. Some days, you’ll feel on top of the world, and other days, you’ll feel completely drained. In those tough moments, practicing mindfulness or deep breathing exercises can help calm your nerves and manage stress.
Taking even five minutes to close your eyes, focus on your breath, and center yourself can help reduce anxiety. Mindfulness allows you to stay grounded in the present moment, which can prevent you from getting overwhelmed by everything you have to do.
6. Don’t Expect Perfection
It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking you need to be a “perfect” mom — that you should handle everything flawlessly, from your baby’s feeding schedule to your household duties. But perfection is an illusion, and trying to achieve it will only set you up for frustration and burnout.
It’s important to accept that you won’t always have it all together, and that’s okay! Lower your expectations a little and give yourself grace. Remember, motherhood is a journey, not a race. You’re doing your best, and that’s enough.
7. Seek Professional Help if Needed
It’s normal to feel overwhelmed, but if you’re struggling with persistent feelings of sadness, anxiety, or hopelessness, it’s important to reach out to a professional. Postpartum depression and anxiety are common but treatable conditions, and you don’t have to go through it alone.
Speaking to a therapist or counselor can help you work through the emotions that come with new motherhood. If you feel like you’re not yourself, it’s okay to seek help. Your mental health is just as important as your baby’s physical health.
Final Thoughts
Balancing mental health and motherhood can be challenging, but it’s not impossible. By prioritizing self-care, leaning on your support system, and accepting that things won’t always be perfect, you can find a balance that works for you and your family.
Remember, you are not alone in this. Every mom has her tough days, and every mom needs a little help sometimes. So take care of yourself — because when you feel good, your whole family benefits.
Have you found any strategies that have helped you during your journey as a new mom? Share your thoughts in the comments below! We’re all in this together.
Returning to work after having a baby is a significant transition, filled with mixed emotions and a range of challenges. In this interview, a working mom shares her personal experience about balancing work, motherhood, and self-care after returning to her job postpartum.
Can you describe your emotions when you first thought about returning to work after your baby was born?
I was definitely overwhelmed with emotions when I thought about going back to work. I know some people feel ready to get back into a routine, but for me, it was really tough. I had been breastfeeding and was so used to being with her all day, every day. The thought of being away from her for 9 hours felt heartbreaking.
How did you decide when the right time was to return to work postpartum?
Unfortunately as a working mom, it wasn’t up to me. FMLA only guarantees you get to keep your job for 12 weeks, so that’s when I returned.
Were there any workplace adjustments you needed to make to accommodate your new schedule (e.g., breastfeeding, childcare)?
I work as an OT in a couple of hospitals, usually my schedule is back-to-back all day seeing patients. I had to build in some extra pump break times and also pumped while eating lunch (which is also when I would be doing paperwork for work).
How did you juggle your responsibilities at work with your responsibilities at home?
For my job at the hospital, when I’m done with work for the day, I’m done with work and don’t have to bring work home. Being back at work definitely made it harder to attend to household duties though, I’m lucky in that I have an extremely supportive husband! Since so much of my time was consumed with breastfeeding, my husband took over cooking and other household duties.
How did you find time for self-care while balancing both work and motherhood?
Back to my supportive husband! He always encourages me to make time for myself. He will watch our daughter so I can exercise, go get a facial or a massage, or take a nap.
How did you feel about leaving your baby with a caregiver or in daycare, and how did you make peace with it?
It made me really sad! I wish I didn’t have to put her in daycare but at the same time I know it’s so good for her to socialize.
How did your perception of work-life balance change after becoming a parent?
My husband got laid off right before he was supposed to go on paternity leave. After that happened we’ve really come to realize that to employers we are just a number/an employee, but to our families we are so much more and that we want to prioritize time with our family over time spent on work.
How do you think workplaces could better support parents returning after parental leave?
First of all, they could start by giving paid leave! I work in hospitals and healthcare workers don’t get paid maternity leave. Crazy I know. You have the option to pay for short-term disability for yourself if you want then you have to use PTO if you have any before that will kick in.
Too much sleep and/or the inability to actually sleep is the first sign of postpartum mental health discordance. Keep an eye out for signs such as persistent sadness, extreme irritability, feelings of hopelessness, or a lack of interest in things she once enjoyed. If you notice any of these signs, gently encourage her to speak with a healthcare professional. Offer to help with appointments or seek help together. PPD is treatable, and your support can be the first step in getting the help she needs.
Postpartum depression (PPD) is a common condition affecting many new mothers, and while therapy and medication are typically the first line of treatment, some women seek complementary approaches, such as nutritional supplements, to help manage their symptoms. Certain vitamins, minerals, and other supplements have shown potential in improving mood and reducing the symptoms of postpartum depression. However, it’s important to consult a healthcare provider before beginning any new supplement regimen, especially when managing a condition like PPD.
Here are some supplements that may help with postpartum depression: If I had to be on top of one, I would choose vitamin D–especially if you are breastfeeding. Breastfeed babies need additional vitamin D in 400 IU. Postpartum mothers need a baseline of 2000 IU of vitamin D. If a breastfeeding mother, increase your vitamin D to a range of 6400-8000 IU to ensure you and your baby are getting the adequate amount of Vitamin D. (Note, if you do increase to 6400-8000 IU range, you DON’T have to supplement your baby with any additional vitamin D.
1. Omega-3 Fatty Acids (DHA and EPA)
What They Do: Omega-3 fatty acids, particularly docosahexaenoic acid (DHA) and eicosapentaenoic acid (EPA), are essential fats that play a crucial role in brain function and mood regulation. Research has shown that low levels of omega-3 fatty acids are linked to an increased risk of depression, including postpartum depression.
Evidence:
A study published in Psychiatry Research (2016) found that omega-3 supplementation helped reduce symptoms of depression in postpartum women.
Omega-3s are thought to have anti-inflammatory properties and may influence serotonin pathways in the brain, which are important for mood regulation.
How to Take: Omega-3 supplements are typically available in fish oil or algae oil forms. A common recommendation is to take 1000-2000 mg of combined EPA and DHA per day, but this may vary based on individual needs.
2. Vitamin D
What It Does: Vitamin D is essential for overall health, and its role in mental health has gained increasing attention in recent years. Research suggests that low levels of vitamin D are associated with depression, including postpartum depression.
Evidence:
Studies have shown that vitamin D deficiency is common in women with postpartum depression, and supplementation may help improve mood.
A 2018 study published in The Journal of Clinical Endocrinology and Metabolism found that postpartum women with lower vitamin D levels were more likely to experience depression. Supplementing with vitamin D may help reduce depressive symptoms.
How to Take: The recommended daily intake of vitamin D varies based on age, location, and individual needs, but a typical dose ranges from 1000 to 2000 IU per day. It’s best to get a blood test to check vitamin D levels before supplementation to ensure the correct dosage.
3. Folate (Vitamin B9)
What It Does: Folate is a B vitamin that is crucial for brain health and the synthesis of neurotransmitters like serotonin. Deficiency in folate has been linked to depression, and supplementation can potentially improve mood.
Evidence:
A study published in Psychiatry Research (2014) found that women with postpartum depression had lower folate levels. Folate supplementation has been shown to improve mood and may be beneficial for those experiencing depressive symptoms.
Folate is also commonly recommended for pregnant women due to its role in fetal development, and some studies suggest that adequate folate intake may help prevent postpartum depression.
How to Take: Folate is available in both food sources (such as leafy greens, legumes, and citrus fruits) and supplements. A typical supplement dose for mood support ranges from 400 to 800 mcg daily.
4. Vitamin B12
What It Does: Vitamin B12 plays a key role in brain function, mood regulation, and the production of serotonin. B12 deficiency can contribute to symptoms of depression and fatigue.
Evidence:
Low levels of B12 have been linked to depressive symptoms, and supplementation may help alleviate these symptoms.
Some studies have suggested that B12 deficiency may be more common in individuals with postpartum depression, especially in those who are vegan or have poor dietary intake.
How to Take: Vitamin B12 is typically available in oral supplements, including tablets, lozenges, and sprays. A common recommendation is 1000 mcg per day, although the dosage can vary depending on individual needs and test results.
5. Magnesium
What It Does: Magnesium is a mineral that plays an important role in over 300 biochemical reactions in the body, including those involved in mood regulation and stress response. Magnesium deficiency has been linked to symptoms of depression and anxiety.
Evidence:
Studies have shown that magnesium supplementation can help reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression, including postpartum depression.
Magnesium may help regulate neurotransmitter activity, improve sleep, and reduce feelings of stress and irritability.
How to Take: Magnesium supplements are available in various forms, including magnesium citrate, magnesium glycinate, and magnesium oxide. The typical recommended dose for adults is between 200 and 400 mg per day.
6. Probiotics
What They Do: Probiotics are beneficial bacteria that support gut health. Research suggests that the gut-brain axis (the communication between the gut and brain) plays a role in mental health, and an imbalance in gut bacteria may contribute to symptoms of depression.
Evidence:
A review published in Psychiatry Research (2019) found that probiotics might help improve mood and reduce symptoms of depression, including postpartum depression, due to their ability to influence inflammation and neurotransmitter activity.
The gut microbiome has a direct effect on the regulation of serotonin, a key neurotransmitter involved in mood.
How to Take: Probiotics can be taken in supplement form or through fermented foods like yogurt, kefir, sauerkraut, and kimchi. A typical supplement dose may range from 1 to 10 billion CFUs (colony-forming units) per day.
7. Zinc
What It Does: Zinc is an essential mineral that plays a role in neurotransmitter function and the regulation of brain processes related to mood. Low zinc levels have been linked to depression, and supplementation may help alleviate symptoms of postpartum depression.
Evidence:
A study published in The Journal of Affective Disorders (2017) found that women with lower zinc levels were more likely to experience depressive symptoms postpartum. Supplementing with zinc may help improve mood and alleviate PPD symptoms.
Zinc also plays a role in immune function and wound healing, which is important during the postpartum period.
How to Take: Zinc supplements are available in various forms, such as zinc gluconate and zinc citrate. A typical dose ranges from 15 to 30 mg per day, but high doses should be avoided unless directed by a healthcare provider, as excessive zinc can lead to side effects.
Final Thoughts
While supplements may offer potential benefits for managing postpartum depression, they should not replace professional medical treatment. If you or someone you know is experiencing postpartum depression, it’s important to seek advice from a healthcare provider who can provide a comprehensive treatment plan. A combination of therapy, support, and possibly medication may be necessary for managing PPD effectively.
Before starting any supplements, it’s essential to consult with a healthcare provider to ensure safety and appropriate dosing. With the right care and support, postpartum depression is manageable, and recovery is possible.
Have you tried any of these supplements to help with postpartum depression? Share your experiences in the comments below!
The journey of motherhood doesn’t begin with the baby’s arrival, it begins the moment you find out you’re pregnant. That initial shift in identity, mindset, and body is deeply transformative, and often overlooked when we talk about postpartum changes. The fourth trimester is undeniably important, but it’s just one part of a much longer, more nuanced journey that begins at conception.
🌱 The First Shift: Conception to Pregnancy
The moment you become pregnant, there’s an internal shift — even before your body visibly changes.
Identity Reframing: Suddenly, your decisions are influenced by someone else growing inside you. There’s a mental shift from “me” to “we.”
Hormonal Roller Coaster: Progesterone, estrogen, hCG — all working behind the scenes, impacting mood, energy, sleep, and even memory.
Emotional Changes: Excitement, fear, uncertainty, and awe — it’s all there. And often, women carry these emotions silently while the world expects them to just “glow.”
🤰 Pregnancy: Living Between Two Worlds
Pregnancy is an in between space — you’re not who you were, and not yet who you’re becoming.
Body Evolution: You’re watching your body stretch, swell, and change — sometimes without your consent. That alone can be a grief process.
Social Shifts: Relationships start shifting — with partners, friends, even at work. People treat you differently, and not always in ways that feel supportive.
Mental Load Increases: Birth plans, doctor visits, registry lists, researching feeding choices… all while still trying to be your “old self.”
👶 Postpartum & Matrescence: Rebirth of the Mother
Once the baby arrives, the transformation deepens. Matrescence is the perfect word to capture this metamorphosis.
Physical Recovery: Healing from birth (whether vaginal or C-section), adjusting to breastfeeding or formula, navigating sleep deprivation.
Emotional Landscape: Baby blues, postpartum anxiety, depression, or simply feeling the enormity of this new role.
Loss of Self (and Rebuilding): Many mothers describe feeling like they’ve “lost” themselves — and they have, in some ways. But there’s also a reconstruction that can be incredibly empowering.
💫 Why This MattersRecognizing that motherhood is a process, not a single moment, helps us honor the full arc of transformation. It helps mothers feel seen — not just for the diapers changed or the sleepless nights endured, but for the profound identity work they are doing from the moment they conceive.
Those words still ring happiness every time I reflect on my 4th trimester journey. My baby and I had been up all night drowning in another growth spurt and cluster feeding. My husband had returned from work. Our newborn laid peacefully asleep in his bassinet, filling out his clothes and the bassinet. “Wow! You have grown that baby!” my husband exclaimed! I cried. I felt seen.
The arrival of a new baby is an exciting time, but it can also be overwhelming and emotional, especially for the mom who is adjusting to new physical and mental changes. Postpartum mental health is a crucial aspect of a new mom’s well-being, and as a partner, your support can make all the difference. While every postpartum experience is unique, there are many ways you can help create a safe and supportive environment for your partner during this challenging time.
Here are some ways partners can support postpartum mental health:
1. Listen Without Judgment
One of the most important things you can do as a partner is listen. When your partner shares her feelings, whether she’s feeling overwhelmed, sad, or anxious, it’s crucial to listen without trying to “fix” the situation immediately. Offer a compassionate ear and validate her emotions. Let her know that it’s okay to feel how she’s feeling and that you’re there for her, no matter what.
2. Encourage Self-Care
In the midst of caring for a newborn, it’s easy for new moms to put their own needs last. As a partner, help encourage self-care by offering opportunities for her to take breaks. Whether it’s taking over baby duty for a couple of hours so she can nap, encouraging her to go for a walk, or suggesting a hot bath or time to read a book, help her carve out moments for herself. Remind her that taking care of her mental health benefits both her and the baby.
3. Recognize the Signs of Postpartum Depression
Postpartum depression (PPD) is common, affecting many new mothers, yet it often goes unrecognized. Too much sleep and the inability to actually sleep is the first sign of postpartum mental health discordance. Keep an eye out for signs such as persistent sadness, extreme irritability, feelings of hopelessness, or a lack of interest in things she once enjoyed. If you notice any of these signs, gently encourage her to speak with a healthcare professional. Offer to help with appointments or seek help together. PPD is treatable, and your support can be the first step in getting the help she needs.
4. Be Involved in Baby Care
One of the most meaningful ways you can support your partner is by actively participating in baby care. Change diapers, take shifts during nighttime feedings, and help with other tasks like burping, bathing, or soothing the baby. This helps lighten her load and reinforces the idea that parenting is a shared responsibility. It also gives her time to rest, recharge, and take care of herself.
5. Help with Household Responsibilities
The first few weeks (or even months) after childbirth can be chaotic. Household chores can easily pile up, which can add unnecessary stress to both partners. Help with cleaning, cooking, laundry, and other daily tasks. Even small gestures like running errands or doing the dishes can provide a huge relief and show your partner that you are there to share the workload.
6. Create a Supportive Environment for Open Communication
The postpartum period can be full of emotional ups and downs, so it’s important to create a space where your partner feels comfortable expressing her feelings and needs. Encourage open communication, but also give her the space to open up when she’s ready. Sometimes, just knowing that she has a partner who is there to support her, without judgment or pressure, can make a world of difference.
7. Take Care of Yourself Too
Supporting your partner through postpartum mental health challenges is a big responsibility, and it can be emotionally draining. It’s important to make sure you’re also taking care of your own physical and mental well-being. Take time to recharge, whether that means getting a workout in, spending time with friends, or simply relaxing. When you take care of yourself, you’ll be in a better position to support your partner.
8. Be Patient and Flexible
The postpartum journey can be unpredictable. Your partner might have good days and tough days, and things can change rapidly. Be patient and flexible as both of you adjust to the new routines and challenges. Reassure her that it’s okay to have tough moments and that it’s okay if things don’t always go as planned. Your patience and understanding can ease the pressure she might feel to be “perfect.”
Final Thoughts
Supporting your partner’s postpartum mental health requires love, patience, and understanding. You don’t have to have all the answers or know exactly what she needs — but by being present, involved, and encouraging her to prioritize her mental health, you can help her navigate the challenges of new motherhood with confidence. Together, you can create a supportive, balanced environment where both of you can thrive during this life-changing transition.
Remember, seeking professional help is always an option if you or your partner feel overwhelmed. The right support can make all the difference in the postpartum journey.
What’s one way you’ve supported your partner’s mental health after childbirth? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
