Q: Can you describe your emotions when you first thought about returning to work after your baby was born?
A: To be honest, I hated thinking about going back to work. The very thought made me feel overwhelmed with dread. I didn’t want to leave my baby. I started to feel resentful that we weren’t financially well-off enough for me to stay home. I avoided discussing my return with my partner, pushing the conversation out as much as possible, but it was still constantly on my mind. I was anxious, just knowing that one day, I’d have to leave my baby behind.
There was this deep, simmering anger about how our culture expects women to return to work so quickly after childbirth. It felt so unfair, and I was enraged that this was just the way it was. I felt disrespected and forced into a situation I didn’t want to be in. It felt like torture. I wanted to be there for my baby all the time, to make sure she always felt my love, but that wasn’t something I could control when I had to leave her to go to work.
Even now, two months into working, I feel like I’m missing out on her growing up. I am missing it—and I hate that. It feels like I am losing a part of her, and I just want to be there, 100%. And to make matters worse, my milk supply has decreased significantly, which is so frustrating.
I try to tell myself that we are lucky—my partner is with the baby all day, and Grandpa fills in a bit in the afternoon before I get home. But still, I just want to be her mom. The reality is, we’re not rich, so I have to work, too. But it’s not what I want. I just want to be there with her, without the guilt of having to work.
Q: What is something you wish more people knew about the journey to motherhood?
A: My motherhood journey started 14 years ago when I was just 20 years old. I was young, poor, and alone. It was survival mode from day one. I didn’t have the luxury of focusing on anything but getting by. The thing is, there’s this enormous pressure to buy all the expensive stuff—like $1,000 strollers, fancy self-rocking beds, and the latest baby gear. But you don’t need all that.
What babies need most is you. They need your love, your care, and your presence. That’s all. They don’t care about fancy gear or brand-name products. So many people waste money on things that don’t really matter, when the most important thing is being there for your baby.
Trust me, you’ll have plenty of time to focus on money later. When they’re older, that’s when you’ll want to have your finances sorted. When they want to play an expensive sport or need a car, that’s the time to prioritize those big purchases. But right now, with a newborn, it’s all about connection. It’s all about love and security. The more you focus on yourself and your mental health, and less on what the world says you need to buy, the better.
Another huge piece of advice: Make sure your relationship with your partner is strong. They are going to see a different side of you after the baby arrives. You’ll go through a huge transformation, and you’ll need unconditional love and support. So, make sure that person in your life has your back, no matter what.
Motherhood can be so overwhelming, and it’s easy to feel like you’re doing everything wrong. But if you just focus on the basics—your mental health, your partner, and the bond you share with your baby—it all becomes a little easier to manage.
The journey of motherhood doesn’t begin with the baby’s arrival, it begins the moment you find out you’re pregnant. That initial shift in identity, mindset, and body is deeply transformative, and often overlooked when we talk about postpartum changes. The fourth trimester is undeniably important, but it’s just one part of a much longer, more nuanced journey that begins at conception.
🌱 The First Shift: Conception to Pregnancy
The moment you become pregnant, there’s an internal shift — even before your body visibly changes.
Identity Reframing: Suddenly, your decisions are influenced by someone else growing inside you. There’s a mental shift from “me” to “we.”
Hormonal Roller Coaster: Progesterone, estrogen, hCG — all working behind the scenes, impacting mood, energy, sleep, and even memory.
Emotional Changes: Excitement, fear, uncertainty, and awe — it’s all there. And often, women carry these emotions silently while the world expects them to just “glow.”
🤰 Pregnancy: Living Between Two Worlds
Pregnancy is an in between space — you’re not who you were, and not yet who you’re becoming.
Body Evolution: You’re watching your body stretch, swell, and change — sometimes without your consent. That alone can be a grief process.
Social Shifts: Relationships start shifting — with partners, friends, even at work. People treat you differently, and not always in ways that feel supportive.
Mental Load Increases: Birth plans, doctor visits, registry lists, researching feeding choices… all while still trying to be your “old self.”
👶 Postpartum & Matrescence: Rebirth of the Mother
Once the baby arrives, the transformation deepens. Matrescence is the perfect word to capture this metamorphosis.
Physical Recovery: Healing from birth (whether vaginal or C-section), adjusting to breastfeeding or formula, navigating sleep deprivation.
Emotional Landscape: Baby blues, postpartum anxiety, depression, or simply feeling the enormity of this new role.
Loss of Self (and Rebuilding): Many mothers describe feeling like they’ve “lost” themselves — and they have, in some ways. But there’s also a reconstruction that can be incredibly empowering.
💫 Why This MattersRecognizing that motherhood is a process, not a single moment, helps us honor the full arc of transformation. It helps mothers feel seen — not just for the diapers changed or the sleepless nights endured, but for the profound identity work they are doing from the moment they conceive.
The FDA approval of Zurzuvae (zuranolone), the first oral medication, has offered new hope to mothers who have exhausted all other treatment options to cope with their postpartum depression. This is a milestone in recognizing the maternal mental health crisis that plagues our country. The benefit of this drug is that it offers a new approach to treating postpartum depression and brings postpartum health into the spotlight. With Zurzuvae and other treatments gaining recognition in mainstream media, postpartum health is becoming an essential topic in society. And yet, Zurzuvae is a reactive sparkling toy distracting from the root causes of postpartum depression.
One in seven women suffer from postpartum depression. Some factors that have led us to a maternal mental health crisis include a social stigma surrounding postpartum depression, lack of universal paid family leave, childcare concerns, barriers to healthcare access in terms of equity and race, and a postpartum medical care system in which 40% of women do not attend their appointments, to name a few. We have created a system for mothers to fail, and now we are in crisis mode.
Each of the above “lack of” could be its own book. My lens is through the medical field. I graduated medical school in 2003. Since then, saying the healthcare landscape has drastically changed would be an understatement. Though we have attempted to create policies that support prevention (expansion of Medicaid/Medicare under the Affordable Care Act), we are constantly in reactive mode as evident by the national COVID response.
My training continued as a pediatrician who further specialized in neonatology and lactation. Admittedly, until I personally tested America’s postpartum system through my own four diverse pregnancies, I didn’t realize the massive holes. It’s a system that demanded my return to pediatric appointments mere days after I delivered with a broken body and a newborn to support. Then, repeating the process several times in the first month in exchange for ten to fifteen minutes of infant care. No wonder my mind fractured months later with undiagnosed postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety.
Postpartum depression is not something that can be treated with a pill alone. The current medical care system does not adequately address a postpartum mother’s healing. One underutilized and economically sound solution for preventing postpartum depression (PPD) is in-home postpartum visits. Home visits allow for more quantitative and qualitative PPD screening.
In 2017, MIECHV (Maternal Infant and Early Childhood Home Visitation program) demonstrated an average PPD screening rate of 75 percent. The federally funded MIECHV supports more than 3,200 state and local agencies that conduct home visits via 20 different models. Economically, MIECHV programs see “a return on investment of $1.89 for every dollar spent.” Families benefiting from MIECHV home visits also report an increase in household income. According to the Center for American Progress, every $1 invested in home visiting programs yields a $3 to $5 return to society.
Other benefits from at-home healthcare includes reduction in maternal and infant mortality and improvement in breastfeeding rates. These outcomes lead to significant reductions in health care expenses.
As we applaud the national spotlight placed on maternal mental health, we cannot overlook the systemic, social, and medical barriers that have led us here. Concurrently, as we pour resources into scientific research, we need to economically support the real, granular issues impacting maternal mental health. America’s postpartum healthcare system needs to change to prioritize prevention rather than glorify quick fixes. Otherwise, we will keep placing bandages over what is none other than a hemorrhaging crisis.
In addition to being a natural and healthful way to feed infants, breastfeeding provides considerable financial advantages. According to studies, breastfeeding can lower healthcare costs by reducing risk of diseases in mom and newborns. However, despite the benefits of nursing, many women encounter obstacles that make it challenging to do so. In this blog post, we’ll talk about breastfeeding’s advantages for health and the economy, as well as its drawbacks and the necessity of societal pillars for encouraging women to breastfeed.
The Advantages of Breastfeeding for Health
Various minerals and other bioactive components found in breast milk offer protection from infectious and non-communicable diseases. Breastfeeding has been found to lower the incidence of respiratory infections, gastrointestinal illnesses, and sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) in infants. Furthermore, breastfeeding has been connected to better cognitive growth and a lower incidence of obesity.
For mothers, breastfeeding has been linked to a decreased risk of breast, ovarian, endometrial, and type 2 diabetes mellitus. Breastfeeding may also hasten postpartum recovery and lower the risk of postpartum depression.
The Advantages of Breastfeeding for Economy
Breastfeeding has a lot of positive economic effects in addition to health benefits. According to a study in the Journal of Pediatrics, if 90% of women nursed their kids for the recommended six months, the United States might save $13 billion annually on healthcare costs. In addition, breastfeeding can lower healthcare costs by reducing illnesses and problems like SIDS, respiratory infections, and gastrointestinal infections that need medical attention. Furthermore, breastfeeding can minimize the time parents must take off of work to care for unwell children.
For families, breastfeeding has positive financial effects as well. Formula might be pricey; however, breast milk is less costly. Costs incurred with breastfeeding include purchasing breast pumps and accessories such as bottles. However, with the passing of the Affordable Care Act, breast pumps were mandated to be covered by insurance.
The Challenges of Breastfeeding
Despite the advantages of nursing, many women encounter obstacles that make it challenging to do so. Lack of support from family and friends, inability to access lactation consultants or other services, and having to go back to work soon after giving birth are frequent obstacles to nursing. In addition, some women struggle with physical issues like painful nipples or trouble latching. Legislation surrounding breastfeeding also causes hurdles. Until the passage of the Affordable Care Act in 2010, employers did not have to provide adequate space or breaks for pumping. Moreover, employers with under 50 employees still are not required by law to support a breastfeeding mother. Laws also vary by state. Issues associated with public breastfeeding to appropriate places to pump and store breast milk are still contingent on state. For a detailed summary around breastfeeding and laws, check out Breastfeeding State Laws.
Conclusion
Women, newborns, families, communities, and our society can profit from the health and economic benefits of breastfeeding. Although many women desire to breastfeed, they may encounter obstacles that make it challenging to do so. It is crucial to spread awareness of the advantages of breastfeeding among families, healthcare professionals, and employers. Moreover, it is necessary to work to foster an atmosphere that supports and promotes breastfeeding. By eliminating breastfeeding barriers, we all can benefit from its wealth of health and economic advantages.
The 4th trimester is a critical time for mothers as they navigate the physical, emotional, and psychological changes that come with the postpartum period. During this time, it is important to understand the different types of postpartum mood disorders that can occur and provide the necessary support and resources to ensure the best possible outcomes for both mothers and their families. In this blog, we will explore the difference between postpartum blues, postpartum mood disorders (postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety), and postpartum psychosis.
Postpartum Blues: Postpartum blues is a common experience for many mothers and is characterized by mild to moderate feelings of sadness, anxiety, irritability, and fatigue. These symptoms typically occur in the first two weeks after childbirth and are caused by hormonal changes, fatigue, and the stress of adjusting to life with a new baby. While postpartum blues can be distressing, it is usually a temporary condition that resolves on its own within a few weeks.
Postpartum Mood Disorders: Postpartum mood disorders include postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety and are more severe and longer-lasting than postpartum blues. Postpartum depression is characterized by persistent feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and a loss of interest in activities that were once enjoyed. Postpartum anxiety is characterized by persistent feelings of worry, fear, and nervousness. These conditions can be severe and can impact a mother’s ability to care for herself and her baby.
Postpartum Psychosis: Postpartum psychosis is a rare but severe mental illness that can occur in the postpartum period. It is characterized by symptoms such as delusions, hallucinations, manic behavior, and psychosis. Postpartum psychosis is a medical emergency and requires immediate treatment.
It is important to recognize that these conditions can occur in any mother, regardless of her background or prior mental health history. Moreover, it is important to understand that these conditions are treatable and that there are effective treatments available, such as therapy, medication, and support groups.
